Parker Weston

[Parker Weston]

TELL US, Parker Alexander Weston, TELL US EVERYTHING

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HELLO, THERE. WE'D LIKE TO ASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS
ABOUT YOURSELF. ANYTHING TO SAY BEFORE WE START?
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"I am a son of Hades. My mother left me as a child and I grew up in foster care, changing homes monthly. The courts said I was a burden, so when I was picked up by a man saying he was taking me to a more permanent home, the courts did nothing. Of course, I was taken to Camp Half Blood, and I’ve been here since. I suppose you could say I’m a loner, but lets be honest, what teenager isn’t? I’ve made a few friends, people mostly stay away from me because I’m pretty much the prince of the underworld. But then again, I’m not so bad."


LET'S START WITH THE BASICS. NAME, AGE, PROFESSION...
ANYTHING ELSE YOU CAN THINK OF THAT'D BE USEFUL.
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"Well, my mom gave birth to me in Parkwood Hospital, and left when I was only three days old. The nurses tried to find her, but by the time they did, she was dead. She’d overdosed on heroine. Typical mom. The nurses gave me the name Parker because of the hospital. The doctor that delivered me was Alexandra, and because I was such a difficult baby to deliver, they gave me her name. They also wrote a letter, saying that my name meant “Protector of Mankind.” Funny, that one. I’m just now turning seventeen and have never held a job in my life. People say I’d make a great child of Hermes because I grew up stealing from people, but that part of my life is over. I promise."


OKAY, GREAT. NOW YOU'VE GOT PRECISELY TWO MINUTES
TO CONVINCE US THAT YOU, YOU ARE THE ONE WE NEED.
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"You know how Hades rules the dead and can basically make spirits do his bidding? I can do that. Ghost soldiers and I get along pretty well because they never question my judgment. Lets put it this way, anything my father can do? Well, I actually can’t so most of it. I can, however, create a passage way to the Underworld, but that’s only if I’m really angry and my father is in a good mood. No offense, pops, but he’s never in a good mood. I usually only visit him in the summer and spring, when his awful wife Persephone isn’t down there. Again, no offense. Yes, she’s beautiful, but she hates him and she hates me. I also have this strange ability to find money in my pocket, more than your average Joe, if you know what I mean."


TIME'S UP, KID. WELL, THAT WAS INTERESTING. NOW CUT
THE CRAP―ANY FLAWS? ANY QUIRKS? DON'T LOOK AT
US THIS WAY, WE'VE GOT TO KNOW THIS STUFF, TOO. SO.
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"I am an angry person…if you make me that way. I like to instigate fights and taunt others, but that’s because nobody else likes me. I like to make myself miserable and stay up at night thinking about how horrible life is. I’d much rather be alone than in the company of others and my dad says that makes me more like him, bitter and angry. Sounds about right. I also have this habit of sneaking up on children of Demeter, Persephone, and Dionysus and making their plants wilt while they are making them grow. They hate me for it."


MAN, I SWEAR I SAW YOU ON TV THE OTHER DAY! HMM,
NO WAIT. CAN'T BE. YOU LOOK WAY CRAPPIER. ANYWAY.
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"So girls always tell me that I look like some dude names Liam Payne. Never heard of the guy. Anyways, so I have dirty blonde hair, a bit more on the dirty side, and I have awkward brown eyes. The last time I went to a doctor was when I was thirteen, and I’ve grown a bit since then, but I suppose I’m about five feet ten inchs, a little bit shorter than average, but then again, guys go through a growth spurt between eighteen and nineteen. I’m a bit underweight at 130 pounds, but I’m trying to gain muscle weight, you know, battle training and all. The Ares kids won’t wrestle with me, so I’m left to lift weights and be bored in the afternoons.

Anyways, you can probably find me around camp in loose jeans and a tee-shirt or hoodie, depending on the season. My favorite jacket is my grey zip up jacket, so it’s pretty worn out, but I love it. People tell me I have a jaw line to die for, but I don’t really see it…but you know, whatever girls are attracted to, right? No, just kidding…I don’t get too much attention when it comes to the girls around camp. "


HUH-UH. RIGHT. SO I'M LOOKING AT YOUR FILE, AND I SEE
YOU'RE NOT A ROOKIE. MIND TO SHARE SOME PAST EXPE-
RIENCES? WHERE YOU WORKED, WITH WHOM, YOU KNOW.
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"Work? Hah, right. Like I’ve ever worked before. No, really though. My foster parent for two months lived on a farm, and that was more like child labor. I mean, no pay. I guess he did give me a place to stay, but then again, he beat me, too. Other than that, I’ve never really worked. I grew up from one house to the next, never quite feeling at home. Eighth grade rolled around and this big guy, said he was a satyr, one of the older ones, said he was going to take me to a new place. I guess I was so used to going new places that I didn’t question it. Hope those last foster parents weren’t too worried…they were actually quite nice. Anyways, I got here, and dang, it was cool. I mean, put a thirteen year old boy in armor with a real blade and you’ve got him amused for years. I spent all my time battle training,
Here I am, four years later, having only left camp five times (the Winter Solstice and once when I snuck out two years ago.)

I suppose you could say that I’ve got a job watching over the younger kids, but then again, all the senior campers do it, job or not. I never had a home before, so I suppose this is my place. And I guess the best part of my year is when there’s new meat and they challenge me to a battle. It’s always nice to put kids in their place, before they’re biased and hate me like they always end up doing. Anyways, I’ve always wanted a quest, but it looks like I’m not going to get one, seeing as the world is falling apart at the seems. Like my good old pops, I don’t think we should star over. Look how far us mortals have come since we were created. Besides, when I die, I don’t want to have to deal with all of those petty humans in hell. Poor dad…I bet he hates being the king of the underworld sometimes."


OOH-KAY. THANK YOU. YOU'RE GOING TO BE CONTACTED
WITHIN THE NEXT WEEK. NOW GET OUT OF HERE. NEXT!
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HEY, PEOPLE! IT'S Alex HERE, WRITING THIS AS WE SPEAK
FROM Charleston, USA! PEOPLE WHO WANT TO CONTACT ME
JUST HAVE TO PM me.
ANYWAY, I LOVE Dogs of War. OF COURSE.
IT'S PINK FLOYD'S.

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MATILDA, AKA GEE, IT'S MATILDA ! ON CAUTION 2.0,
MADE THIS APPLICATION. DUNSTEAL, AND EVERYONE
WILL BE HAPPY. "HAPPY AS A HIPPO." ALONG CAME P
OLLY, ANYONE? OKAY. I'M SHUTTING UP NOW. BAIBAI.